drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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