The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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