evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize