What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
