I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
