pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Quick, to the slutcave!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
