Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
