I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
