my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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