How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
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You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
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Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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