I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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