Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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