Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
