just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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