I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
