Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
