I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
