i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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