And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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