I want to make a zoo with you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She needs sedatives and a leash
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
