my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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