worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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