i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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