i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
