Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
