Got a toothbrush?
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
