Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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