We won't sleep together?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
