he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
