U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
