eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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