Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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