Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
