Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I understand Curling. That high.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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