i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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