After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
