We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
