We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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