DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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