I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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