That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize