when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
