So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
