WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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