True but thats because hes a fetus.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
