sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
