i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
