I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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