quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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