Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize