What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
