Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
