that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
