Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
