this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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