I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
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we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
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I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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