I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
