I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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