I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
