i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
