I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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