I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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