I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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