It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
