im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
