i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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