my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize