rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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