Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
