i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
