I am in a vortex of obligation.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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