She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was like giving head to a cactus.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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