D3 body, D1 cock
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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