9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
