walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
